Often couples get hung up on definitions and labels. If you are in a committed relationship and looking for something outside of the relationship, there are two ways that you can go about it. One way is one that betrays the trust of a marriage, and one is a way that can bring a couple closer together. When there is open communication about what one partner needs and wants, it can start a conversation that can lead to saving, not destroying, a relationship. There is a big difference between cheating and swinging and in this article we are going to explain this difference.
Swinging is where a couple decides to find another couple to have sex with. Each member of the couple has sex independently, or together, with the other members of another couple. It is something that everyone is aware of, and has agreed to. You can either have the sexual experience together, or you can break off into pairs, depending on what the couple is comfortable with. It is also something that is discussed fully between all parties so there are no surprises. Nothing is being hidden, in fact, joining the swing lifestyle, is the most honest and open way to get your sexual needs met when you are in a committed relationship and not getting what you need.
Cheating is where one person in a relationship is dissatisfied with their sexual life and decides to go out and get their needs met somewhere else. It isn’t something that is discussed between the members, it is something that is hidden from one partner. The affair is carried on without the consent of the other partner, and great lengths are taken to hide the actions from the other. It is sneaky, deceptive, and something that can destroy even the best of marriages. When you cheat on someone, you are betraying their trust and not being honest with them.
So What is the difference?
The biggest difference between cheating and swinging is that in swinging, there are great lengths taken to make sure that no one is left out, or hurt. When you trust someone enough to be honest with them, that says a lot about the love you have for them. Cheating is something that is done without regard for the other person’s feelings. If you are trying to hide something from your mate you know that it is going to be hurtful. A person who cheats knows that and doesn’t care. They do so without concern for the other person’s feelings, or worry about the consequences once found out. It is one of the most selfish things you can do to another person who you have promised to be committed to.
You would be hard pressed to find a counselor who would say that cheating on someone is a good way to save a relationship. When you cheat on someone it creates a rivet between the two parties. Not only does one party feel guilty, if found out, the other feels betrayed. There are many counselors who believe that swinging is something that can be beneficial to a relationship. Being able to discuss someone’s wants, and desires, and to share an experience that is engaged in together between the two parities, is something that can bring two people closer together.
When you are a party to swinging, it can make you feel sexy again. Having someone outside of your marriage find you attractive is a very good feeling. For both parties, it can be a very ego-boosting experience. When one party finds out that they have been cheated on it can make them feel worthless and bad about themselves. It makes the person who is cheated on feel as if they are not good enough. Feeling anything but attractive can make two people drift further apart. When someone finds out that they have been cheated on, the very last thing that they want to do is to communicate, or to engage in sex with one another. Cheating is a very destructive behavior. Deciding to swing as a couple opens up the lines of communication between two people and can lead to both getting their sexual needs met. It also can spice up a relationship that has lost its fire. There are very distinct differences between cheating and swinging in the effect that it can have on a relationship.