Why Married Swingers Stay Together

Why-Married-Swingers-Stay-TogetherIf you don’t know what a swinger is, it is a pretty simple concept. A swinger is someone who is in a committed relationship where either one, or both parties, decide that it is alright to engage in casual sex outside of the relationship. Often times it is a dual decision where both partners find other individuals to have sex with. It is a way to keep a relationship alive, exciting and liberating. Not everyone is comfortable with the arrangement, so the key to it is having two people who have the same understanding about the rules of sexual engagement.

Non swingers question why it is that swingers would choose to remain in their committed relationships instead of just staying single. They question why they don’t just stay single and hook up with anyone they want? The answer is that there is more to a relationship than sex. We all know that there are many complexities that are involved in long term relationships. Sex is only one of them. All sorts of different arrangements can be made for bills, work, and household responsibilities. Swinging is just an arrangement that is made involving sex. The couples themselves are normally regular married people without anything else out of the ordinary.

The reason that swingers decide that they want to be with another person can be that they become bored with their sexual life. When you are with the same person for an extended period of time it is not unusual for sex to become boring. Being with the same person for the rest of your life means that you pretty much do everything there is to do together. Sometimes there is something very exciting, and life altering about trying something new. Just like no one wants to have vanilla every day for the rest of their life, swingers don’t want to have the same type of sex every day for the rest of their lives.



Are swingers less committed to each other?
It may seem to outsiders that swingers are less committed to each other than other couples. The truth is that they aren’t. They may actually be more committed to each other. When you allow someone to have sex with someone else, without reprisal, you are giving them the ultimate gift. By putting your own insecurities and jealousies aside to let your partner explore, you are giving one of the greatest gifts you can. An argument can be made that swingers are somewhat more committed to each other. Being able to go outside of the marriage for sex, and still stay together, says a lot about how committed they are to each other.

Is swinging right for you?
If you are in a monogamous relationship and considering if swinging is a good idea for you, the best way to get your answer is to have an honest and open discussion with your partner. Swinging is not right for everyone, or every union. If one partner is not on board, or does not feel comfortable, it can cause an irreparable rift in the marriage. Knowing exactly what to expect from each other is cornerstone to being able to enjoy swinging for both parties. If you want to become a swinger, but your significant other isn’t interested, don’t think that pressuring them into it will work. If one party feels as if they have been forced into the decision, it will cause resentment and hurt feelings that can be the beginning to the end.

It is a hard subject to bring up without making your partner feels as if there is something missing in your relationship. Give them security by starting the conversation letting them know that you are extremely happy in the marriage. Explain that you intend to stay no matter what the choice made is. That will avoid any hard feelings that can come from introducing the idea to someone who may not feel good about it. Once the cat has been let out of the bag, there is no way to put it away. Sometimes starting with smaller steps like having a threesome, may ease the situation enough to allow you to open the door to consideration. Swinging is something that can breathe new life into a relationship, but if suggested in the wrong way, it can be the cancer that causes ruin to it.


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