Why Men Love Social Sex

Why-Men-Love-Social-SexWhen it comes to social sex, men and women’s brains seem to be wired completely differently. There are definitely women who are into social sex; otherwise the guys who love it wouldn’t be able to find anyone to have it with. However, the levels of openness to social sex tend to differ dramatically. Recent studies have proven what we have known to be true all along. For a good many men, if the opportunity to have sex presents itself, especially if the woman is incredibly good looking, most men won’t say no. The study used two scenarios to assess men’s willingness to have sex with a total stranger who approached them on the street. When the woman was a bombshell, 97% of the guys approached agreed on the spot to go back to her place for drinks and a full 83% said yes to immediate sex. When the experiment was repeated with a more average looking gal, the rates dropped, but were still pretty high. 80% of men agreed to follow her home for drinks, and 60% were willing to have sex right away. When the tables were turned, less than 1% of women were willing to entertain the idea.

For most women for whom social sex is an option, a lot of times alcohol is involved. Having one too many drinks at the club has lowered the inhibitions of many women enough that they will leave the bar with a stranger for a little social sex. Even then, it is oftentimes after hours of dancing and flirting, lending itself to a sense of familiarity. The majority of women having social sex are doing it with guys they hang out with as friends or co-workers. People they may have no interest in having an emotional relationship with that still feel known and safe. Guys have far less of a need to know the woman with whom they are about to do the deed, but why?

Evolution is at it again! While social sex may be all about fun in modern times, we come from a long line of men who were wired to want to reproduce. The best way to ensure that has many children bore our genes as possible was to have sex with as many women as possible. For women, it was different. They could only get pregnant as often as their body would permit and that revolved around gestational length, levels of nourishment, and fertility that was suppressed when offspring were breastfeeding. For women, safety and adequate food were key factors in offspring survival, so what men and women were looking for around sex was quite different. The remains of this linger today in the forms of what men and women look for in social sex.


Going beyond the subconscious and evolutionary proclivities, most guys report that they like social sex because it is fun and comes without emotional baggage or commitment. This allows for the pleasure of sex as a physical outlet without the pressure of having to engage in other relationship duties. You get off, you go home, and you get on with your life without interruption. It’s simple. It also appeals to the male desire for adventure, with a mild element of danger. It also allows for a lot more variety in both the physical appearance of partners and the sexual acts themselves, and many men crave sexual variety.

Social sex can be a lot of fun as long as you ensure that you’re playing safe. Exercise some common sense so that you don’t find yourself in a sticky situation that isn’t worth the fun that you’re having. It’s best to have social sex when both parties are sober so that you can make sure that it is consensual. Be sure that the woman you’re having sex with is on the same page and is only after some fun, not a relationship. Most importantly, wrap it up before you stick it in! This includes oral sex. Nothing will take the thrill out of a chance encounters faster than finding out you’ve contracted an STD or a phone call informing you that you’re going to be a father. Play by the rules and your play can be carefree and no-strings, just the way you want it.

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